Following widespread condemnation of the structure, which was recently erected on Tins Walbert, St. Agnes, Trinity House have ordered a think tank to look in to the matter.
The findings, exclusively revealed to Scilly News, showed that the lacklustre shape of the day mark had damaged the aesthetics of the natural archipelago. Recommendations for amendment were submitted to top officials and secret negotiations with locals were initiated. Several Ideas were put forwards by locals, including re-positioning the massive telecommunications transmitter based at telegraph, St. Marys, in order for the day mark to at least fulfil some function. This recommendation was dismissed out of hand by the environmentally conscious contingent.
Despite the projects secretive outlook, Mobile Telephone Company ‘Virgin’ offered to erect a monument for free, as long as it housed a transmitter for their brand and carried a effigy of Richard Branson on the Nor ‘ad face. The plight of the designers also reached a trendier level as Brit Artist Tracy Emmin was quoted on the London scene this week, as saying ‘The ultimate design will be a defining factor in deciding which direction the influences of Art in this country will take’. Perhaps one of the most intriguing suggestions came from one particular ‘Scillonian seadog’ who suggested raising the wreck of the Cita and pacing it in a vertical position to “Warn other ships of the dangers.”
As the natural beauty of the Island’s seascape is vitally important to tourism on the Islands, fast and decisive action was taken, to coincide with the start of the tourist season. The criteria for the new day mark would have to include it being clearly visible from sea, and, if possible, a tourist attraction to boot. No expense was spared in substituting the old structure. The RAF were called in overnight to remove the previous monument and put in the new one, all at enormous expense to the taxpayer; this is testament to how seriously the issue has been taken. A fleet of Chinook helicopters from RAF Odium were flown to the Islands, carrying the new marker. It was placed on top of the Tins Walbert rock at 4A.M this morning; the only witnesses were several locals who had been awoken by the helicopter engines.
The Scilly News team received an anonymous phone call yesterday, prophesising a “breaking news story connected with St. Agnes and the sea” but it seems that the replacement itself has come as a huge surprise to the majority of Islanders. A statement received first thing this morning backed up the anonymous phone call. It is impossible at this stage to gauge just how much official involvement there was.
The ultimate design is thought to have influences from the Eiffel tower in Paris; initial rumours of it actually being the French tower were categorically quashed by the French embassy in London. Reaction from locals and tourists is, as yet, unfathomable. It is thought that the significance of the date, April 1st, is actually a secret statement closely guarded by its designers, but as yet, we cannot confirm any official implication, which the date, THE FIRST OF APRIL, has.
Post Script: Aujourd’hui est le premi’re jour d’avril: Avril Fou!